


Natural

by ghidrah



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-15 10:56:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13611897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghidrah/pseuds/ghidrah
Summary: Lars constantly struggles with insecurity, noticing it more in his day-to-day exchanges with everyone around him. He wants to improve, but it's hard to shake the constant paranoia he's been burdened with for as long as he can remember. He's only ever felt natural around Sadie, and even then his growing infatuation with her is beginning to complicate things more than he'd like.





	Natural

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there and welcome to my first AO3 posting. It's been a long time since I've written anything, so I hope you enjoy it! This fic will have multiple chapters in addition to this introduction. I'll update when I can! Also, this is pre-pink Lars.

Lars couldn’t sleep.

Usually at this hour, he’d be trying out new recipes or searching for opinions about the latest music and, depending on the collective opinion of “cool” online forums, would delegate particular music to a speaker playlist or a headphones playlist. The latter was a result of online people generally not caring for music he liked, making Lars too embarrassed to play it on the speakers at Big Donut and would only listen to whatever “not-cool” tunes via headphones instead. It was kind of fun, though. It gave him a sense of secrecy - a quiet enjoyment, like baking at home. Everything he tenderly adored stayed within his orbit, akin to his fondness for Sadie.

He groaned. It was 3:00 a.m.

He checked his phone for what felt to be the millionth time during the past hour in high hopes of getting a text from her, but alas, nothing. She was probably sleeping until her 6:00 a.m. alarm that they both referred to as “The High Hopes Alarm: the alarm lowly Beach City donut workers aspire towards, but inevitably fail.” The actual alarm she woke up to was a glorious 6:30 a.m. reminder taunting her of the inevitable 7:00 a.m. shift. She was gracious in only occasionally assigning Lars these hours (mainly due to his whining, which he grew guiltier over as time passed) and zealously talked about the spooky morning sky and winds accompanying her walk to work. She was an amazingly positive worker, an inspiration, really. Lars wished he could be like that, and wished he could walk with her during the delicate half-hour her heart fluttered at the mere thought of.   

Ugh! He shook his head. Whatever! Not like a hard worker like her would want a sack of shit like him around that early more often.

Despite Sadie’s diligence, she could never quite wake up at The High Hopes Alarm level (well, neither could Lars). She consistently sacrificed waking up at 6:00 a.m. for any amount of sleep she could get, Lars unofficially proclaiming her the “Latest Sleeper-Inner” person award of Beach City, disregarding his own habits of sleeping into the afternoon. Some nights he knew she’d stay up watching old-school horror movies, while other nights he’d keep her up on the phone discussing anything like Lars’s school day or late-night fascinations with what things other than gems lie beyond the sky. Usually by the end of the call, their voices turned soft as the night’s time, and Lars would tease her with, “Why are you up so late? You got to work soon, you know.” And he could hear her respond, “Yeah, yeah” and yawn, and say good night and hang up, and leave him with a loneliness she both caused and cured.

This habit took its toll on her days off. Once during a holiday, Lars was to meet Sadie at the beach around noon. After diligently waiting for two hours - and embarrassingly being greeted by the Cool Kids twenty three times -, Lars received a frantic two-minute phone call from Sadie repeatedly apologizing for sleeping in and how’d she be there in a minute, shortly followed by the sound of her crashing down stairs. Lars quickly visited her, hanging around to ensure she didn’t have any terrible injuries that could potentially call for immediate medical attention. Lars could hear her voice now: “ _You’re such a mom!”_  He could hear her laugh turn into a chuckle, tinging her cheeks with the slightest of pinks, a reaction he so often reciprocated. Hell, he could feel himself blush now.

Man. He’d learned so much about her.

 _3:10 a.m_. Three hours and twenty minutes until Sadie would wake up. He so often wanted to visit her at work this early to help out, but the vicious combination of him showing interest in helping and his persistently growing infatuation with her prevented him from surprising Sadie at the store. Instead, he masked his desire to help with increased whining, complaining, and dramatic monologues of how much he hated waking up early. But god! He wanted to be with her! He wanted to help her! He didn’t even care about getting paid! Well, being paid would be nice, but for once, something came before earning that lukewarm minimum wage. There were some mornings he woke up early preparing breakfast meant to surprise Sadie, but he’d get too flustered and leave it saran-wrapped out on the table for his parents to eat before work. It made them happy, which was good, he supposed.

Maybe today would be the day? He sat up from his bed, staring at his phone’s clock. _3:20 a.m_. A finger to his pursed lips, he thought about what he could cook. First, he had to gather the facts. It was Thursday, early January, and the school break was almost over. Fuck senior year, he just wanted it to be over with. However, because it was nearing the end of break, his parents tended to buy food and ingredients he enjoyed cooking with more, probably to remind him they love him and they earnestly wanted him to make the most of his vacation. He loitered among that thought for a short minute. They cared for him so much, but he felt like he couldn’t ever properly show his thanks or improve as a person. He wondered if he was trying hard enough. Maybe making Sadie breakfast could ignite a series of self-improvement events. Maybe today would be the day.

Lars set his mind on cooking. Insomnia was bad as usual tonight, so he perused the web until around a quarter to six.

 _5:45 a.m._ Alright Lars, you can do this. He threw on some clean clothes and tiptoed downstairs, hearing a soft symphony of crickets and frogs outside. Once he turned on the kitchen light, he felt an immediate sense of peace. _The comforting sensation of the kitchen._ He took a deep breath, smiled, and walked over the fridge to survey its contents. There were the basics: eggs, vegetables, milk, bacon, assorted fruit, most of the produce being from a local Wednesday farmer’s market. He could make a quiche since it took around forty minutes, but… Lars checked the time again. Accounting for preheating the oven, that would be cutting it close, and maybe a quiche would make him look lame. Were quiches hip? No, they probably weren’t.

Lars closed the fridge and sunk to the floor, not knowing what to make. What would Sadie like? He joked to himself he could bring her homemade donuts, but that might be _too_ much, even coming from him. He thought about a simple breakfast with eggs, bacon, and some sort of potato, but that was too boring for him. If he was going to make something, it had to be somewhat interesting for Sadie, and for his image. Hm… maybe something sweet?

He looked back in the fridge again and pulled out some fruits, eggs, and other ingredients. Big Donut had sweet things, just not actual fruit. Crepes seemed like a good idea.

Setting a pan on low heat, Lars prepared batter, special fruit glaze, and chopped up some strawberries and peaches to top the crepe with and to go on the side. After cooking some batter to form an array of - beautiful, he might add - crepes, he folded them with some fruit decorating the top. He set aside the glaze to prevent the crepes from getting soggy. He checked the time. _6:30 a.m._ Sadie should be waking up. He grabbed his phone in hopes of a text, but didn’t know what he was expecting.

Nothing.

Why wouldn’t she message him? It’s not as if he prompted a text or expected her to message him first thing when he woke up, but… did she think of him as much as he thought of her? Was she going to message him soon? When? What would she say? What should _he_ say?

He slapped the side of his face. Cool it, Lars! He packed the crepes, cleaned the kitchen, and sat at his family’s dining table, crepes ready to go in front of him. _6:45 a.m_. Well, if he skipped cleaning the dishes earlier, he could’ve made it to Sadie’s place before she left. For now, he might as head straight to Big Donut.

 _6:50 a.m._ Alright, he thought, c’mon Lars, get your butt moving… Sadie will be there at any moment. He twiddled his thumbs.

 _6:55 a.m._ Okay buddy, you’re really pushing it. This is the farthest you’ve ever gotten; usually you’re back up in bed by now, so just go! Walk out there door! He bit his lip, palms getting sweaty.

He sat there for a bit more, eventually hearing the living room clock ring seven times.

_7:00 a.m._

Did time always move this fast?

He let out an exasperated sigh before slamming his head on the table, making an impressively loud _thud_.

Well, he almost did it, again. There was still time, but what was the point? He was supposed to get there before her, waiting by the front door, leaning against it with a cute, clear Tupperware of crepes and fruits in hand. She would’ve looked up at him, a little confused and tell him to move, and ask what he was holding. He would’ve said, _“They’re for you, since you barely eat anything in the morning. Much better than those donut fuckers inside”_ and she would’ve laughed and smiled and been so happy.

So happy… so happy, is that right?

Eventually his mom and dad came into the kitchen greeting him happily, but Lars barely soaked in what they were saying, too burdened by his repeated failures to leave the house on time and bring Sadie breakfast. All he had to do was fucking walk out the door. That’s it. He couldn’t even do that. He told his parents to help themselves to the crepes and sauntered upstairs, disregarding worried questioning from his mom and dad.

Lars stripped and escaped into his bedsheets: all too familiar, too welcoming. He clenched his fists and chucked a pillow across the room.

“Damnit!”

All he had to do was leave the house, walk out the door. He made it _so_ far this time. Why could he stay up all night researching a variety of things, but fail to do the most basic of tasks? He couldn’t walk out a door, he couldn’t keep his grades up, he couldn’t even bring himself to talk to people around town with acting up and putting on a weird persona. Somedays he couldn’t even bring himself to leave fucking bed.

Why was it so easy for everyone else? Tears stung his eyes, and he buried his face into the mattress. The morning light began to peak into his room.

It was just like any other day.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a nice comment if you enjoyed it, and thanks for reading!


End file.
